emotionally focused couples therapy that works

marriage and relationships are supposed to grow and challenge us

but you don’t have to figure it out alone

We are wired for love, but we don’t always know how to give and receive it in the ways we hoped for. Even if a relationship once felt easy, life changes can throw new stressors at a partnership. The past can color your present experiences. Sometimes the relationship struggles to grow in the same direction or at the same pace as the individuals. Or maybe you’re happy and you want to go deeper and proactively keep things going well. In all of these cases, couples counseling can be supportive. I work with people in all stages and types of relationships, including polyamory/ENM, kink, and LGBTQIA+. In couples counseling (or polycule counseling!), we can explore issues such as:

communication
deepening connection
parenting
sex
life or relationship transitions
infidelity

I am certified in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)

a gold standard, research-backed approach to working with couples. This model gives us a way to recognize patterns of disconnection that keep creating roadblocks or conflict in the relationship. In our sessions, we are able to map out what this pattern is and slow it down, peeling back the layers of defenses the members of the couple have built up and exploring the vulnerable emotions and needs that lie protected within. From this place, the couple is able to experience a more authentic and connective dialogue within sessions, and bring these experiences home with them to begin to do things differently. EFT embraces and works from the principles of attachment theory—the understanding that we are innately hardwired for connection and emotional responsiveness to our closest people. Read more about EFCT here.

I also have professional training (Levels I and II) in the Gottman Method of couples therapy. This method is backed by over 40 years of research about the skills and tools that happy couples use to keep their relationship strong and healthy. I help couples zero in on the strengths of their relationship and also the areas that need improvement. We can then use sessions to practice skills and have new conversations that build trust, friendship, and harmony between the couple. Learn more about Gottman Method here.